Source: Newsweek,
http://www.newsweek.com/id/81564Provided by: Sng Sze Ying
The Bitter-Sweet Taste Of Success
China's rise is empowering its legions of working women. But they're finding the rewards aren't so sweet.
Huang Hung
Updated: 11:16 AM ET Dec 22, 2007
I am an agony aunt—a print and online advice columnist—in China. By accident. I used to write a column on sex, but it was considered too risqué by the censors. So we changed it to a Q&A format instead. In the beginning, my editors wrote the questions. But after two issues, real letters started to come in from readers. A year and a half ago, I also started to write a blog, which became very successful.
The questions I receive offer fascinating insights into what it's like to be a woman in China today. Since the column started, we have received a total of 14,397 letters, 90 percent of them from women. Most of the writers live in urban areas and hold college degrees. A quarter of them write me about affairs with married men, usually the women's bosses. To get a sense of their concerns, consider the following sample:
Dear Huang, I have been in a romantic and sexual relationship with my boss for five years. I am now pregnant with his child. His wife has known about our relationship all along but refuses to give him a divorce. I am comfortable being his concubine, [si nce] he is very kind to me: he bought me an apartment and has promised to pay all the expenses for our baby. But my parents, who are Communist Party members and very conservative, think it is immoral and want me to leave him and have an abortion. What s hould I do?
Some 30 percent of my readers, meanwhile, seem to have a hard time finding a partner at all. Here is a typical complaint:
Dear Huang, I am 32, and have a master ' s degree in English. I am also very good looking, if I may say so. But I have problems finding a spouse. One of the problems is that I am not a virgin. The other one is that my graduate degree is intimidating to Chinese men. My friends suggest that I li e about both and even get an operation [to simulate virginity]. Is this the only way I can get someone to love me? Should I do it?
Such problems are far from unique, and say a lot about the attitudes of Chinese women. Most of us now face acute dilemmas over what roles to play in the country's booming new market economy. Although we have gained economic status as China has grown richer, we have not really gained in social status. Chinese society is still deeply traditional, and Confucius said that "a virtuous woman is without talent." This notion remains deeply rooted in Chinese culture. We don't like highly educated, highly paid professional women. Deep down, many Chinese remain very skeptical about the value of successful woman when it comes to relationships, families and social environments. When women make money, it is considered disruptive.
That said, China has enjoyed official gender equality for more than 50 years now. In government agencies and state-owned enterprises, men and women are required by law to receive equal pay. Indeed, Chinese women never had to fight to achieve formal equality: it was handed to us instead on a silver platter. Ironically, this might not have been a good thing. For it has left Chinese women unequipped to deal with gender issues in the current market economy (as opposed to Communist China's old, state-run system). In addition, we have failed to develop a moral structure that would help us women understand the complicated social issues that arise from wealth. Remember that polygamy was abolished in China only when the Communists took over in 1949. My grandmother always said that it was good to be the first in school but the last in marriage—meaning it was more important to be the most favored wife than it was to be a smart student. Such attitudes still linger.
As a result, the kinds of compromises and decisions Western career women now make all the time remain difficult and morally burdensome for their Chinese counterparts. Consider the case of my communications director: only two months after she was promoted to that post, she asked me for a demotion. When I asked why, she replied that she did not want to give her fianc? the impression that she was too focused on her career. What's wrong with that? I asked. She said that in his family, a "good woman" was one who made her husband and her family the priority of her life.
As all that suggests, China may be changing fast—but there's still plenty of work for us agony aunts to accomplish.
My Comments:There is undeniably a marked improvement in gender equality in China, especially after Mao Ze Dong proclamation that women "cover half the sky". I think we should applaud China for this achievement, considering how China is eager to propel herself forward in the global economy by acknowledging the capabilities of the female population who used to be looked down upon. Economically, women have proven to be helpful in building the country ever since China moved into a market economy. However I agree with the author that, even so, women’s social status is far from desired, simply because people of China are still traditionally rooted in their values, especially towards marriage and sex. In the past, women do not have much say in everything. Men often wield the power of decision-making. However China’s rapid growth has allowed gender equality to happen but this has resulted in the inertia in changing their attitudes towards working women who now has a fair share of roles in decision-making and also able to earn money and support the family. Hence we cannot entirely blame the Chinese people for their reactions towards such rapid social changes that the older generation and the opposite gender are unprepared for. Furthermore, Confucius ethics such as "a virtuous woman is without talent" as quoted in the article, and other teachings has long been deeply rooted in the minds of the Chinese, especially that of the opposite gender.Labels: posted by Sze Ying, social status of women
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